The Evil Called Love

I’ve been there. The sleepless nights, overthinking every word exchanged, and clinging to a relationship that, deep down, I knew wasn’t right. But I wasn’t ready to let go. I convinced myself that if I just tried harder, gave more, or   waited   longer, things would magically change. Spoiler alert: They didn’t. For a long time, I believed that compromise was essential in love. And it is — to an extent. But there’s a fine line between compromise and settling. And I didn’t realize I had crossed it until I found myself exhausted from running after people who didn’t see my worth.        How I Realized I Was Settling It wasn’t some grand epiphany or dramatic breakup. Instead, it was a series of small moments that accumulated like sand slipping through my fingers. Every unanswered text, every canceled plan, and every instance where I prioritized their needs over my own chipped away at my confidence.  At first, I brushed it off.   Maybe th...

There you are, sitting across from a stranger who is suddenly not a stranger. Sparks fly, the room fades away, and you find yourself speaking in a movie script. “This is it,” you think. “I’ve found the one!” But before you start planning your couple’s Instagram handle, let’s pause for a reality check. We all love a good story. That love story worth posting online. We all want that. The problem is, we often turn dates into mini-romantic comedies in our heads. After just one date, we convince ourselves that we’ve met our soulmate. Why? Because it feels good. Because it’s exciting. And because no one wants to admit that finding true love might actually take, well, a little more effort than a couple of overpriced cocktails. The truth is, feeling a connection on a first date is more about chemistry than compatibility. Chemistry is fun; it’s fireworks and butterflies. But compatibility is quieter. It’s built on shared values, mutual respect, and those little things that make or break a rel...

  I still remember the way he looked at me that first night we met. His eyes seemed to speak volumes, telling me that I was special, that I was different. It was the beginning of a whirlwind of attention and affection that lasted for weeks. Every text, every call, every little gesture felt like a promise of something more. He made me believe that we were building something real, something lasting. But now, sitting alone in the silence of my room, I realize that all those promises were nothing but a cruel joke. For weeks, he lavished me with attention. There were late-night conversations filled with laughter and shared dreams, sweet messages that made my heart flutter, and moments where I truly believed he saw me—really saw me—for who I was. He made me feel cherished, wanted, like I was the center of his universe. It was a beautiful illusion, one that I fell for completely. The night we finally spent together felt like the culmination of all those weeks of connection. It was suppose...

  "It's not my fault that I shine brighter than you, but for the sake of our relationship, I will try to shine less." Later, I finally understood that not only did my partner NEVER appreciate my efforts to support him by stroking his ego and sacrificing mine, he also felt more pitiful because my self-sacrifice only made him see what he lacked. BOOMERANG. No one was happy. And, the relationship ended.  True story. Luckily, I learned enough to let go and live my own life. When you diminish your own luster for someone to shine brighter in the context of a love relationship, it means you are downplaying your own strengths, achievements, and qualities to make your partner feel more important or successful. Here’s what is happening: 1.    Self-Sacrifice   : You might be putting your partner’s needs, desires, and ambitions above your own. This can involve making sacrifices that hinder your own growth and happiness to support your partner’s. 2.   Insecurity ...

  I was so lonely that I settled for less. I tricked myself into thinking that even poor treatment is OK as long as I am not alone. Perhaps this is all I deserve now.  Does this sound familiar? This a situation where someone's intense desire for a relationship distorts their perception of reality, much like the psychological manipulation known as gaslighting. This time, the target is one's self.  Here’s a breakdown of what this means: 1.   Self-Deception   : The person’s strong longing for a relationship can lead them to ignore red flags or negative aspects of a partner or the relationship. They might convince themselves that things are better than they actually are. 2.   Rationalizing Poor Treatment  : In their yearning to be in a relationship, they might justify or overlook mistreatment, telling themselves it’s normal or deserved. This can lead to accepting behavior that they wouldn’t tolerate if they weren't so desperate for connection. 3...