The Evil Called Love

We've all heard those heartwarming tales of friends turned lovers in movies, songs, and maybe even in our own lives. There's something undeniably magical about the shift from platonic to romantic, where the familiar becomes something more. Today, we're delving into this enchanting realm, guided by Anne's (not her real name) relatable story, to help you decipher whether that special someone in your life might be feeling more than just friendship. Signs of a Budding Romance     Anne's predicament is a common one. She's caught in the gray area between friendship and romance, unsure of where her guy friend's heart truly lies. But, worry not, Anne – there are some telltale signs that can help you navigate this emotional terrain. Anne's question 1: We have a mutual understanding. It's like we're a couple without really talking about it. Everyone we know sees us as a couple. Are we really a couple? Response to Anne: Hey, Anne! First of all, kudos to you...

  "It's not my fault that I shine brighter than you, but for the sake of our relationship, I will try to shine less." Later, I finally understood that not only did my partner NEVER appreciate my efforts to support him by stroking his ego and sacrificing mine, he also felt more pitiful because my self-sacrifice only made him see what he lacked. BOOMERANG. No one was happy. And, the relationship ended.  True story. Luckily, I learned enough to let go and live my own life. When you diminish your own luster for someone to shine brighter in the context of a love relationship, it means you are downplaying your own strengths, achievements, and qualities to make your partner feel more important or successful. Here’s what is happening: 1.    Self-Sacrifice   : You might be putting your partner’s needs, desires, and ambitions above your own. This can involve making sacrifices that hinder your own growth and happiness to support your partner’s. 2.   Insecurity ...

  I was so lonely that I settled for less. I tricked myself into thinking that even poor treatment is OK as long as I am not alone. Perhaps this is all I deserve now.  Does this sound familiar? This a situation where someone's intense desire for a relationship distorts their perception of reality, much like the psychological manipulation known as gaslighting. This time, the target is one's self.  Here’s a breakdown of what this means: 1.   Self-Deception   : The person’s strong longing for a relationship can lead them to ignore red flags or negative aspects of a partner or the relationship. They might convince themselves that things are better than they actually are. 2.   Rationalizing Poor Treatment  : In their yearning to be in a relationship, they might justify or overlook mistreatment, telling themselves it’s normal or deserved. This can lead to accepting behavior that they wouldn’t tolerate if they weren't so desperate for connection. 3...

You changed for the person you love, or they made you change? What does it matter if you decided to change or the pressure from your partner made you discard your old self and create a new one especially for them (so that they wouldn't leave)? You're no longer the person you once were, and now, even your closest friends barely recognize your personality.  Does this resonate? You're not alone. People often change their personality to please someone they love for a few reasons: 1.    Desire for Approval  : They want to be liked and accepted by their partner. Approval can feel rewarding and affirming. 2.   Fear of Rejection   : They fear losing the person they love. Changing their behavior or personality might seem like a way to avoid conflict or rejection. 3.    Perceived Expectations   : They believe their partner wants them to be different. This perception can drive them to change to meet these assumed expectations. 4.    Inse...

The Fascinating Paradox of the Gemini Guy  The Magician of Multitasking  I remember the first time I saw My Gemini Guy in action. He was juggling a phone call with a client, scrolling through a presentation on his laptop, and somehow also managing to make himself a sandwich—all without breaking a sweat. It was mesmerizing and a tad overwhelming.  To many, multitasking can be a chaotic affair, but not for My Gemini Guy. His mind worked like a well-oiled machine, capable of toggling between tasks with a sense of ease I could never quite understand.  Here's the kicker:  Despite his knack for handling multiple things at once, My Gemini Guy was never one to settle for mediocrity. The guy was a born dreamer. Always striving for a higher position or a loftier goal, contentment seemed to elude him.  His ambition didn't stop at climbing the corporate ladder, either. It spilled over into his personal relationships, always pushing those around him towards self-improve...

Have you ever wondered if the constant bickering in your relationship is a sign of trouble or just part of the journey? We've all been there. Some days it seems like you can't go a single day without a spat. But is it all doom and gloom? In this article, we'll explore whether bickering is a healthy aspect of relationships or a potential relationship hazard. Let's dive in! 1. The Evolution of Conversations: Picture this: You've been with your partner for a while, and those once-frequent romantic moments now feel as rare as a blue moon. Does this mean your relationship is in trouble? Not necessarily. It signifies that you've transitioned from the honeymoon phase into a more grounded, authentic relationship. In this "real relationship" stage, your conversations take on a new rhythm. You can discuss anything and everything; even quirks like snoring aren't relationship deal-breakers anymore. While this change may seem disheartening at first, it's a ...

You know, I used to believe that finding the perfect match was the ultimate secret to a successful relationship. I clung to this idea for quite some time, and it probably contributed to my "player" persona back in the day. I'd assess compatibility based on various factors like shared interests, social status, and maturity levels.  Yes, Criteria.   Having some criteria to guide your search for "the one" isn't a bad thing at all. We all need some standards, right? But, I've come to realize that genuine, long-term compatibility involves much more than just a few commonalities and great initial chemistry.  In fact, if we want to get technical about it, we could even argue that real, long-term compatibility might not even exist. Here's why I say that: people change. We evolve and grow, whether we're in a relationship or not.  Incompatibility Could Mean Inability to Adapt to Growth Couples who struggle to adapt to these changes in each other often lab...