The Evil Called Love

There’s a strange kind of fog that rolls in after a breakup. Not just the obvious heartache or grief, but a deeper sense of disorientation — as if you've lost something more than just the relationship. For many of us, the hardest part of moving on isn’t letting go of the other person; it’s remembering who we were before the relationship ever began. When you’ve spent so much time being part of an “us,” it’s easy to forget what it felt like to be “just you.” I know this because I’ve been there. I woke up one day, long after the breakup, and realized that I couldn’t remember what made me   me   before the relationship. My interests, my routines, even the way I saw myself had become so wrapped up in the other person that I had no idea where they ended and I began.        How It Happens: The Slow Disappearance of “You” This loss of identity doesn’t happen all at once. It’s gradual, like a slow unraveling. You compromise, you adjust, and before you know...

  "It's not my fault that I shine brighter than you, but for the sake of our relationship, I will try to shine less." Later, I finally understood that not only did my partner NEVER appreciate my efforts to support him by stroking his ego and sacrificing mine, he also felt more pitiful because my self-sacrifice only made him see what he lacked. BOOMERANG. No one was happy. And, the relationship ended.  True story. Luckily, I learned enough to let go and live my own life. When you diminish your own luster for someone to shine brighter in the context of a love relationship, it means you are downplaying your own strengths, achievements, and qualities to make your partner feel more important or successful. Here’s what is happening: 1.    Self-Sacrifice   : You might be putting your partner’s needs, desires, and ambitions above your own. This can involve making sacrifices that hinder your own growth and happiness to support your partner’s. 2.   Insecurity ...

Why is it dangerous to say "we will never break up"? Here is a lesson in relationship realism that I learned the hard way.  Early love is beautiful and those currently in its throes can feel invincible and certain about their future as a couple. It's not uncommon for couples deeply in love to make grand declarations like "we will never break up." Such sentiments may stem from genuine feelings of love and commitment, but making such absolute statements can be both unrealistic and potentially harmful to a relationship.  In this article, we will explore why one should never say NEVER when the topic of breaking up comes up. Due to the complexities of love and human nature, relationships evolve. Relationships are dynamic and constantly evolving, so one should never make absolute statements. People grow, change, and face various life challenges.  What works for a couple at one stage of their relationship may not be suitable in the future. By declaring that a relation...

You know, I used to believe that finding the perfect match was the ultimate secret to a successful relationship. I clung to this idea for quite some time, and it probably contributed to my "player" persona back in the day. I'd assess compatibility based on various factors like shared interests, social status, and maturity levels.  Yes, Criteria.   Having some criteria to guide your search for "the one" isn't a bad thing at all. We all need some standards, right? But, I've come to realize that genuine, long-term compatibility involves much more than just a few commonalities and great initial chemistry.  In fact, if we want to get technical about it, we could even argue that real, long-term compatibility might not even exist. Here's why I say that: people change. We evolve and grow, whether we're in a relationship or not.  Incompatibility Could Mean Inability to Adapt to Growth Couples who struggle to adapt to these changes in each other often lab...