Settling for Less Than You Deserve Due to Loneliness

 

I was so lonely that I settled for less. I tricked myself into thinking that even poor treatment is OK as long as I am not alone. Perhaps this is all I deserve now. 

Does this sound familiar? This a situation where someone's intense desire for a relationship distorts their perception of reality, much like the psychological manipulation known as gaslighting. This time, the target is one's self. 

Here’s a breakdown of what this means:

1.   Self-Deception  : The person’s strong longing for a relationship can lead them to ignore red flags or negative aspects of a partner or the relationship. They might convince themselves that things are better than they actually are.

2.   Rationalizing Poor Treatment  : In their yearning to be in a relationship, they might justify or overlook mistreatment, telling themselves it’s normal or deserved. This can lead to accepting behavior that they wouldn’t tolerate if they weren't so desperate for connection.

3.   Distorted Reality  : Much like gaslighting from another person, their own intense longing creates a distorted reality. They might believe that being in any relationship is better than being alone, even if the relationship is harmful.

4.   Lowered Standards  : This longing can cause them to lower their standards, settling for less than they deserve because they are so eager to be with someone, anyone.

5.   Loss of Self-Identity  : In trying to fit into a relationship, they might lose sight of their own needs, desires, and identity, molding themselves to what they think will keep the relationship.

One's own intense desire for companionship can lead to self-deception and unhealthy relationship dynamics, mirroring the effects of being gaslit by another person.