You might have noticed that I jump at the chance to plug advertisements from AJ Western Wear Outfitters (Swarovski belts, Jeans and Western outfits, Mens Western Shirts, Mens Western Wear). This is all because of a secret fetish: Cowboys.

As far as fetishes are concerned, we know that these arise from something deeper, usually something we crave for but don’t know much about exactly. A secret pleasure or desire that we very rarely admit even to ourselves because it makes us uncomfortable.

The origin of my cowboy fetish is very clear to me. It’s all about ‘taming’ the brooding bad boy, the rebel boyfriend, the wild guy that other women fell for but never really caught. The proverbial cowboy is depicted as such: a loner who is aloof and malevolent to intruders in his personal space. At least that’s how I remember James Dean in his last movie, or the expression in this hottie’s eyes in this photo.

Come to think of it, this bad boy-attraction may even explain why I feel compelled to visit Dave Navarro’s site, 6767.com, despite that the whole world of Rock n Roll is alien to me.
How to Tame Your Rebel Boyfriend
1. Give him space. Loving an unruly guy means having the patience of thousands of crochet enthusiasts. Knowing full well that you’re falling for someone who has the reputation of a heart breaker should give you a hint that he won’t change overnight… not even for you.

2. Make Every Second Count. This type of guy demands a lot of alone time, and enough elbow room to do other things (those you might not approve of). Every date must be productive in that, you do not go out of your way to pick fights with him, or become the needy girlfriend that you are. Make him remember your date as fun, lighthearted and whimsical. Give him a reason to smile when he thinks of you even when you’re not together.

3. Reassure Him That You Are Always There For Him. I don’t mean physically, but more of emotionally. Do not pretend to understand the inner struggle he is going through, or the reasons why he is the way he is. Just promise to be there when he is ready to open up.

4. Do not Use Love as a Hostage If you have ever started a sentence with “If you really love me….” then you probably know by now that it doesn’t work. He may indulge you for a second, but will revert back as soon as he feels that you are done trying to make him feel guilty.
A Story on Taming
from the Little Prince (Antoine de Saint Exupery)

“What does that mean?tame?” [asked the Prince]

“It’s an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”

“To establish ties?”

“Just that,” said the fox. “to me, you’re still nothing more than a little boy who’s just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you.And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I’m nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.

But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To me, you’ll be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world “

If you reached this post looking for answers on how to tame your partner, please be comforted with the fact that you are not alone. Love is a never-ending cycle of taming and being tamed, and we all need to discover how one way or another.

:lv:

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There are categories and labels that we use for almost anything we want to organize. Subconciously, we even do that to people we meet. If you ever called someone a “loser” or a “friend”, you’ve probably done this at least once in your life.

One defense mechanism I learned as a single girl is to categorize everything so that I’m more organized. Unfortunately, this habit included people I meet, and usually, the tagging is based on first impressions. I call this a defense mechanism because it immediately alerts me to those I should avoid, and those I should befriend.Recommendations and promotions by other people I already trust have helped me delineate which to open up to and which to close the doors completely.

There’s no grey area for me when it comes to trusting. It’s either I trust or I don’t. This thinking is influenced a lot by my knowledge of my own vulnerability and hero-worshiping nature. I was told that this habit could alienate people who want to get closer to me, and perhaps it did in the past, in more ways than one.

“Tagging someone as a narcissist or anything else is just my way of putting people and things in little boxes that will stack nicely with my current understanding of other things.”

Placing people in boxes helps only if the boxes are kept open. Once a person seals the box and disposes of it, she ends all further contact with that box and everything it contained. Wisdom does come with age, but only if a person allows a second chance for those she decided to avoid.

There’s more to a person than a first impression, and if you’re patient and considerate enough, you might find out. Maybe you can even learn a bit more about yourself and a lot more things from that person. This is also the only way to be completely and irrevocably free from bias. So… be free!

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The closet softie:

I call myself a closet softie for 2 reasons:

1. I?ve devoted my existence to building a solid facade of strength to keep out malicious intruders from abusing my sympathy, and

2. because I feel a lot more about things than i let on.

Someone once told me that being smart is a curse. I reflect on that and, despite my childhood pride of my parents calling me smart, i realize now that it?s quite true. The more perceptive a person is, the more he/she understands what?s really happening. And most of what?s happening in reality will either break a person?s idealism or force him/her to keep the belief in anything good inside a protective shell within his/her soul.

I do my best to keep my idealism intact? or should i say, what?s left of it after years of experiencing the sublime goodness in people and the horrible opposite.

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