As a kid, I have been very curious about relationships and lurked around adults when they had their heart to heart conversations, like when aunts, family friends and girl friends of my mom would come over; or the drinking sessions in our house and my dad’s friends would be there talking about anything under the sun, including women. I’d be there behind the tapestry in the sala, pretending to read a book.

While, I have been shushed many times for asking ‘inappropriate questions’, I persisted until one of the more sensible grown ups answered me. One particular time, the conversation revolved around commitment and why some people cheat. I asked,

“Auntie, what is loyalty? How does one know that a spouse is being unloyal?”

She looked at me directly and answered with an analogy “A man slipped while walking on the street with an open manhole. Only, he did not fall in. He went home unscathed; and his wife, although pissed at the mess, forgave him for his torn and dirty jeans.”

Thus, I concluded that…..

A loyal spouse will always go home to his partner, every single day of his life. If he slips along the way and finds himself in trouble for one reason or another, he will still go home to face his wife. Even if he has to explain so many things and risk judgment, he will still go home.

The burden of forgiveness lies on the partner. In fact, I think that cheating per se entirely depends on how both parties define it. Ending a relationship because of unfaithfulness will mean that one or the other cannot live with ‘the slip’ anymore.

What do you think?

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