It’s time for another AskWoobie feedback! As you read this post, you will see why this topic deserves its own page (and why I asked the feedback giver to let me publish her issue).

Tala (not her real name) wrote me this initially. The stuff in square brackets is mine:

“I am surprised you are not white. By the way you speak, I couldn’t tell. It is easy for you to get chats in rooms because they think you are not [Asian]?”

One of the more startling news to me since I published this romance blog is finding out some reasons why people do not want to try internet dating. Some simply do not want to fall in love online, while some others (like Tala ) fear that being unable to speak perfect English is a horrible liability.

Not true. The fact that you are from another country and that you probably live each day in a different way compared to them will get attention faster than the fact that you are a walking lexicon. It’s the willingness to interact that matters to people who are also there for that same reason.

If you find a gem of a chatmate, let your guard down, speak in a manner that you are comfortable with and focus on pushing your personality more than writing out all your sentences perfectly. Intelligible communication means being understood and conveying a message, even if it is not said in a Pulitzer-award-winning way.

Playing the “Exotic” Card

Once your online date notices that you speak in a peculiar manner, he or she will start getting curious about your country, the stuff that you can share about it, and travelling to your location. It’s a vast world, and not everyone will know about what’s uniquely Asian, African or Meditterranean (in my case, Filipino). They crave for information that is dished from a local. It is what will keep them rapt for a long time, maybe even forever.

When I find a wonderful chat companion, I instantly reveal that I am Filipina, In a sense, I am even helping out my country’s travel industry by talking about it and describing it to people I meet online. Being “exotic” isn’t a fault, and if you feel at ease about who you are and how you interact, you don’t have to get pressured by the fact that your English is “funny”.

Just the same as you won’t go under the knife for a nose job if you feel comfortable with your nose, you don’t have to speak “perfect” English to express yourself when you feel comfortable talking the way you do.

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Rate this: 3.2

Being an aspiring erotica writer (I bet you don’t know that yet, huh?), I always find it fun to play around with words and experiment with how they affect other people and myself. Some words provoke or bore us, and even make us just a bit weepy. A cursing match or what we call ‘b!tch session’ is only considered fair if both parties have similar cognition of most of the words exchanged. Similarly, a successful getting-to-know chat conversation will only work if both use descriptive language.

The secret of words is that an image automatically comes up in a person’s mind as soon as he utters the word or phrase. That image in turn stirs emotion, and incites a reaction. For example, voluptuous could mean several different things to different people; ’soda’ could make someone feel thirsty; and ‘wet’ could be a good thing or a bad thing.

In relationships, the way we convey our message reveals more about how we feel than we think. Hence the phrase ‘reading between the lines’. For example, a girl knows instinctively when her guy is still in love with his ex just by the way he says his ex’s name. In a normal conversation, he usually drops his guard long enough for you to really listen to what he isn’t saying.

Notice how often he mentions his ex? Now, replay the conversation in your mind and take note of how he said her name. Did he hesitate a bit? Did he say “you know my ex, Sheila (pause) … “?

You can say, “there’s a catch in his voice whenever he talks about her”. What happened is that his ex’s name invoked an image in his mind, and he reacted to it. His simple utterance of her name brought up a memory profound enough to affect him, and the listener (you) sensed it immediately.

And, remember, love is just a word unless you feel something when you say it.

:lv:

Rate this: 2.9

I was reading this article at this man’s site and it mentioned guy etiquette in online dating scenes like chat and photo-intensive places, such as Friendster or MySpace.

• As the article stated, and I quote: “Your picture must not have your shirt off. You must be accidentally hot. A skimpy shirt is fine, but a naked man is about the same as those chicks who post half-clad pics of themselves on myspace?not dating material.” And, I agree.

I couldn’t help but recall some guys who take their shirts off when the cam is on them, thinking that the girls they are chatting with prefer it that way. Initially, no. But maybe if you wait long enough, you might get the chance to show her your biceps or whatever else you want to show her.

See, online chatting is still a date, even if it is over the net. Does a guy meet a girl in a coffee shop for the first time wearing only his shorts? Couples normally start a date with niceties, conversation and a healthy exchange of ideas. While guys don’t have to wine and dine a lady when they’re dating online, he must make the effort to be nice, at least during the first few times that they chat.

Accidentally hot is the term in the article that got me laughing. I can imagine a conversation revolving around a guy’s shirt during webcam chat. When the girl says, “you look hot in that shirt”, it means that she’s getting comfortable with a guy enough to notice how form fitting his shirt is or how well the color matches his eyes. It is not a cue for the guy to take his shirt off, no matter how much he wants to show off his buffed body. She’s complimenting him and it might not mean anything sexual.

Unless she specifically asks for it, of course.
Sex is easy enough to acquire over the net (see Adult Friendfinder), as the pron sites are abundant. Online dating or chat generally means connecting on a level that is beyond sex, and addresses the more important human need… companionship.

If you want to start dating online and exploring all possibilities, It is very easy to find friends and like minded singles living near you. Find friends NOW

Rate this: 2.9

As you all know, the evil woobie encourages online interaction and aims to bring people together through the internet. I recently found a site that offers free chat, termed chat lines, which comprises phone chat and online chat.

A venue for would-be friends, partners and lovers to meet in, people can call for free, and chat live with other people, or opt to leave voice messages for other people to hear.

When callers access the chat line, they record a greeting for others to hear while they are on the system. They then listen to greetings of the other callers who are also live on the system. People can choose to send a message to another caller or they can request a live connection. The good part is, callers don’t have to give out their phone numbers and are anonymous when on the system.

It never fails to amaze me how people who would otherwise never meet anywhere else manage to do so through the web. It’s comforting to know that there’s an option to socialize, even when working online or not having the time to go out.

Rate this: 2.9