A Tribute to Guy Friends
woobie on May 3rd, 2008
Guy Friends. Those ultra-lovable, ultra-sexy men in our lives that are the epitome of our ideal. We know their game, they know ours. They are here when we need them, just like girl friends, but better in a way that they can coach us with first hand info on how their fellow guys think and act.
In a post I published last year, What About Lasting Friendships, I expressed my adamant warning to never play guy friends, ever. To quote:
These [guys] should all be off-limits in your hunting agenda. You will continue to associate with these people even after the game is over. Baptismals, weddings, funerals and simple business meetings or holiday events? he will always be there, looking at you (or pretending not to see you, depending on how it ended).
Listening to this song while reading the rest of this entry is recommended
How about if the love is real and playing the game isn’t even remotely in your mind? I’m going to take the guy-falls-for-girl example because I recently viewed Bobby’s post, which is frankly the first time I ever read a guy’s take on the friends to lovers situation. Guys take the hit harder than girls, it seems, and to me, it makes sense how girls can resent it when a guy friend falls hopelessly in love with her.
Boyfriends (the lover-types), for all their yumminess and cuddliness, can be the enemy at times. They mess up our minds, play with our emotions, take up hundreds of sleepless hours and oftentimes cause us to cry. Having one of them in our roster of loyal allies means we are stronger in morale, because somehow we have a valuable resource for inside info on men. We can confidently tell our guy friends our secrets, safely practice our moves on them without risking judgment… we are safe and we are loved, and we will never lose them because they will always be there.
See, guys, when you fall for the sweetest most lovable girl in the world and she happens to be your close friend, you might think you’re winning a prize…. but in her eyes, she’s losing a very valuable ally. You were designated in the friend-only category for a reason, and sometimes the reason is that she wants to keep you forever. Complicated?
Quite simple, really. Having a more-than-friends relationship means she might lose you, especially if it’s so painfully obvious that neither of you is ready to settle down. Suddenly, you have become the enemy. Being friends forever means never breaking up, never really losing touch. Love isn’t even an issue because she already loves you, just not in the way you want her to.
:lv:
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Nice touch with the BGM. A very warm article there Miss Woobie [and honestly the music is swirling inside my head right now].
Sad, but true.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Grown Children Confess
i’ve been considering writing about this particular topic in my blog, but i won’t because i don’t want to implicate myself - because my blog is, for better or worse, not an anonymous one.
guy friends have been the bane of my existence since i studied coed (which was already college), and as someone who has made a career of being “the friend,” i can attest to the fact that cultivating close friendships of the opposite sex can be a double-edged sword.
on the one hand, i love getting the low-down from my guy friends on life and love - although their perspective can sometimes be quite terrifying for a girl. i also know that despite the relentless teasing and ribbing, they love me and will be there to blacken the eyes of any other dude who dares to break my heart, and i love that.
on the other hand, once attraction and romantic feelings come into play from either side, it could get complicated. if the feelings aren’t mutual, there’s an entire minefield of complications you have to navigate - with the potential casualty being the loss of a really good friendship.
personally, i’ve never been brave enough to risk it. so i’ve learned over the years to keep a very stiff upper lip. that song? it’s on my love life playlist. :)
dr_clairebear’s last blog post..Where to Next?
@dr.claire
Know that i chose my best guy friend, my companion who saw me through A LOT for the past decade, to be the dad of my child. When you’re ready and he is too, the friendship could be the most valuable thing that could propel you to a happy marriage.
I feel you sister!
@witchy
the situation is like ‘the fight club’ in a circle of close friends. like if they witness 2 of theirs falling for each other, there’s happiness, but there’s also dread that the whole friends’ group can be affected. T_T
@SA
LSS? LSS?? LSS!?!
In Piolo’s eyes, he lost a very valuable ally. Si Sam. Wala eh, nagkainlaban.
Mario’s last blog post..Pang-asar Lang
amen to that!
I’ve lost quite a few female friends this way.. and looking back on it I’d rather have kept them as friends.
cuz there is no going back
Bobby Rio’s last blog post..WWE Dive Ashley Massaro Linked to Escort Service
@mario
lol. pwede pa naman sina sam at piolo a ;))
@Bobby
buth then again, there are some guys who are much better as FB’s than real friends. ^_^
For me you either take the plunge with the guy and risk or friendship or you don’t do anything and you end up losing the friendship anyway - many of my old guy friends are not friends at all anymore because they get girlfriends who get jealous and of course my hubby probably wouldn’t be real keen of me talking to them and I wouldn’t be keen of him doing the same…they are nice to have though when you are single and they are there to help you scare off the guys trying to hut on you, lol.
Chelle’s last blog post..Take a Romantic Road Trip
@chelle
I always try to befriend the GF first and send vibes that im not into his guy. It’s difficult, but doable.^^
You know, I agree with every word you wrote! Great article, came just in time for me ;)
Jazz’s last blog post..I just realised?
Wow, and all this time I thought women selected males who were not attractive enough to be seen dating, but nice enough to be a “friend” to tell them about all the attractive jerks she was sleeping with.
@jazz
thanks!
@rigoberto
all men in a girl’s life, even guy friends, are a reflection of her tastes in men’s looks and personality. :D