Evil Woobie

Happy Easter!!!

This celebration of Faith is alive and it reached this blog. Little girls who were to play the angels during the first easter mass of the day have been roused from sleep as early as 4 am so as not to be late. Month-long after school singing practices ended today, when these girls donned handcrafted feather wings with rubber band straps. They sang this song. I know this by heart until now, although in my mind, I still sing it in my little girl voice as I did years ago.

• Regina caeli, laetare, alleluia!
  Quia quem meruisti portare, alleluia!.
  Resurrexit, sicut dixit, alleluia!
  Ora pro nobis Deum, alleluia!

(the exact melody you can listen to here)

I was a part of the little angel choir during easter for 8 years until I got too old to play cherubim. And then, starting at around 12 years old, it was the Virgin Mother roles for me during Christmas and Lent. The latter role was more challenging because I had to act it out: a suffering pregnant woman during Christmas plays in our local Catholic church, and a bereaved Mary during Lent at Church-sponsored plays. Quite ironic really, considering the way I turned out, and how I developed my personal principles and opinions.

I have always been told that there’s a child-like, purely innocent quality to the way I look. It took a while before I figured out why some guys always laughed out loud and pinched my face when I’d tell them “I’m an egoistic b**** and I will only hurt you”. Kindly view this photo and tell me if this was taken during my college graduation or my gradeschool graduation…

Answer: College.

I’ve always thought that it’s a curse to look like a 12-year-old during the time that I played some relationship games. But in retrospect, maybe it was a blessing after all. Having big puppy eyes on a rounded face provided safety during exposure to the more machismo-ridden guys who never really thought I understood their actions more than they know. Some dense guys never saw through the innocent puppy eyes and couldn’t believe I knew exactly what “we’re going somewhere nice” meant.

A True College Life Story:

During the college days, my homie girls and I went to a bar where the DJ for the night was our friend. We met a guy there named Teddy. He was alone and offered to buy us all some drinks. We accepted and made him buy all the appetizers and non-alcoholic drinks as well. He seemed so generous and even bought coffee for everyone. But we knew something was up.

Our DJ friend rode with us in Teddy’s van as the party packed up. However, we were stunned when Teddy stopped at the main intersection and told our DJ friend that he can get a ride at that corner. As soon as our DJ friend got out, he locked all doors from the driver’s autolock thingie. He looked around and centered on me. “You. Stay here in front.” he said and I did silently, despite my friends’ alarmed stares.

We got to our friends’ house and the rest of the girls rushed out. I attempted to follow but realized that the guy’s arm was across the passenger seat and holding the door. He was looking straight at me and whispered, “no, you don’t.” I put on the puppy eyes and smiled innocently. My friends were looking out the window as we drove out, and mouthing the words “be careful”.

I knew exactly where he was taking me, and did not react when he slowed down in front of a row of hotels. I suggested to buy food from a Korean Restaurant situated amidst the building line and he agreed, but only if we ordered take-out. As soon as we were inside the car again, I dropped the innocent act and said mischievously “I know a nicer place, drive straight until the big intersection then turn left”.

I took us straight to my dormitory, where the big bully lady guard, was outside monitoring all drop offs holding a baseball bat. As soon as the car stopped, I pushed the door and went out with the food that I made him buy. I looked back only once and saw Teddy punching the steering wheel. A few minutes later, my friends called the dormitory and we laughed like hyenas at my little stunt.

Our DJ friend, who was informed of that escapade’s ending, laughingly told us later that Teddy went to the bar spewing his version of what happened. He told him and the bar’s crew that I kiss lousy, the word ‘kiss’ being a substitute for some other profane word.

Angels are virginal, naive creatures until they learn how to play the game.

But kids, don’t try that at home, promise?

• If you liked this post please subscribe to my feed. Or scroll down and leave a comment.