Part of the pain of being an advice-giver is the feedback from those we helped and inadvertently opened our emotions to. Usually, someone says “It worked! I will keep you updated!” but will never really write again to tell how things are going. I don’t mind when they don’t write back because it means they became deliriously happy with their relationship and have no time to write emails.

One girl, however, wrote back to tell me that her engagement is over. We chatted over IM and she went on and on about how she shouldn’t have bothered pursuing him in the first place because he ended up going back to his first love. Halfway through the emotional tirade, I asked “What did you do with the ring. Did he ask for it back?” Her answer made me choke on my coffee. “He didn’t want it back, and told me to keep it. I wrapped it in a bundle together with his letters and floated them out to sea when I was at Boracay last week.” She really should have talked to me sooner.

I know the mourning period entails being insane for a while until some friends knock some sense back into her, but feeding a brilliant cut diamond to some curious dolphin is definitely not a good way to get over a failed relationship. If you want to romanticize the grieving process, which includes purging the mementos representing the relationship, how about selling the more expensive gifts and then donating the proceeds to charity?

You don’t even have to haul yourself out of your grieving nook to find buyers as there are companies online that accept watch consignment, jewelry consignment, and yes, even diamond consignment. Consign the jewels and when they sell, you get some cash to spend on yourself. Maybe a soothing spa-treatment, a facial or a make-over will make you feel confident enough to start meeting other people again. Better yet, find worthy charities to donate to. Wouldn’t the notion of buying a starving family some breakfast for a month be more gratifying than spitefully flinging your ex-boyfriend’s gifts out the window?

You can then move on knowing that a souvenir from a traumatic experience was converted into something that could make a big difference in another person’s life. That’s moving on.

• If you liked this post please subscribe to my feed. Or scroll down and leave a comment.