10 Signs You’re in a Bad Relationship
woobie on March 1st, 2008
I?m not quite sure why, but people love to tell me things that they won?t even talk to their best friends about. (Oh, the stories I could tell.) The bizarre part is that I don?t even know most of the people who confide in me. Strangers waiting for the bus, the girl bagging my groceries, the guy working in his yard as I stroll by on my evening walk, homeless men on park benches, and even on-duty police officers will tell me the dramas of their lives, ask me for advice, and confess their deepest secrets. (I must have ?FREE THERAPY? tattooed on my forehead. That?s OK; I love it.)
So what are the deep secrets and concerns I hear about most often? Relationship woes. Sometimes the complaints are superficial. ?He leaves up the toilet seat.? ?She never puts her clothes away.? Blah, blah, blah. But sometimes, the problems obviously run deeper.
Some people say things that make me want to scream out, ?Then why are you with this person? You idiot!? (But of course, I say it in a much less offensive way.) Many of such people seem think that their relationships are perfectly normal and healthy. It?s as if they don?t even realize that they?re in a bad relationship and need to get out. Are you one of these people? Well, here are some signs (taken from real conversations) that you probably should consider packing your bags:
1. You expect people to relate with you when you say things like, ?You know how when you wake up in the night and realize that you wish your husband would just die?.?
2. You go to the corner store to buy a soda, at 3 am, and you don?t come back until your wife has to wake up and get ready for work, just because you need an excuse for not being in bed with her.
3. You expect people to relate with you when you say, ?You know how after the 5th year of marriage, you fantasize about killing your husband?.?
4. You repeatedly say, ?God I hate her,? after every sentence whenever you?re talking about your girlfriend/wife.
5. You live together, but you never say ?Good morning,? ?Good night,? ?Bye, Honey,? ?How was you?re day,? ?I love you,? or even ?Hello.? You do, however, spend lots of time screaming, ?What the hell do you want?!?
6. You brag about how you left your husband for a week just to let him know how much you can?t stand him, and you can?t wait until you get to do it again.
7. You haven?t seen your wife for 3 days. You have no idea where she is. You don?t even know if she?s dead or alive. And honestly, you don?t really care.
8. Even though you moved in together 10 years ago, you?ve never unpacked your stuff. You?ve kept all of your things separated from his and packed away in nicely labeled moving boxes because it will make moving so much easier when you leave him.
9. You have sex with your husband (even though the very thought of having sex with him makes you sick) because he says he?ll leave you to be with his mistress if you don?t, and you don?t want him to do that because if he does you?ll lose your health insurance.
10. You insist that you and your partner have the best relationship ever, as long as you only see each other one day every other week. (Anything more, and you develop absolute hatred for each other and are likely to scratch each other?s eyes out.)
If you liked this post, please check out my personal guide to life at http://www.kristensguide.com (Kristen?s Guide ? a practical guide to a happy life), and also stop by my personal, online diary at http://kristenbrookebeck.blogspot.com (Kristen Brooke Beck: the Written Ramblings) to enjoy my random thoughts about the world.
Happy day!
Kristen Brooke Beck
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My guest for this post is Kristen of Kristen’s Guides, an advice blog tackling self- improvement in various aspects of our daily lives, including relationships and finances. For more relationship advice, I use these books:
- Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
- He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (The Newly Expanded Edition)
- If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever
- Understanding Women: The Definitive Guide to Meeting, Dating and Dumping, if Necessary
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Hi Kristen! There are people who have such open auras that other people feel that they can talk and talk and that person will listen. That’s one trait we share, and yes it has its pros and cons.
It feels nice to be trusted.
A lot of these are super obvious, but #5 is right on the money. A sure sign things are wrong. If you can’t give your loved one the common decency of “Good morning” or “Good night,” something’s up.
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I agree. Though a naughty and smiling ’sup btch’ isnt exactly a bad thing. :D
okay.. my relationship isn’t that bad… i was kind of worried i was going to read the subtle little things i do like occasionally imagine i’m having sex with one of her friends instead of her… or have a great vacation all planned out.. only to realize im going have to bring the girlfriend and suddenly going to Cancun doesn’t seem so exciting.
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^_^
I’m sure most guys think of those too, but will never admit it in a million years.