Evil Woobie

Dawn of Antibarbie.net is giving away a custom header for anyone who could write the best letter to an advice columnist named Shabby. The contest closes in a few days so if you want to join just head on over to her site and test out your writing skills.

I first discovered Antibarbie.net not through Entrecard, but through the bloggers’ choice awards when I started blogging. I bookmarked her site and promised to read it when I can. And what a find it is! Find out why by heading over to her blog.

Here’s my official entry. A letter to Shabby…

Dear Shabby,

Hello and I hope you’re having a great day. I, on the other hand, am having a lousy one. You see, a few months ago I went to Hollywood with a friend of mine from the tropics and we both decided that we want to be models. My friend, Apple, had tons of luck and modelling offers just started pouring in. I got none of those, but did get considered for small roles in B films that didn’t make it to the mainstream. I got in some commercials but my part in these was so small that I was hardly noticed on screen or on the photo. It was hard for me not to feel envious of my friend’s success, but I tried my best to stay positive.

Recently, Apple and I had a falling out over a modelling stint. I feel that I was a victim here, Shabby, but hear me out and you decide if it’s just right for me to feel this way. It was for a billboard shot with the tagline “Fruit for Life.” I asked (begged) Apple to give this opportunity and not go there to audition for a part. She gave me an offhand “ok, no prob.” so I was happy for a while. When I woke up late the day of the audition, Apple has already left, and she didn’t bother to wake me up (as she usually did). I scrubbed my soft golden skin ’til it glowed and was pretty confident that I’m getting the part.

Can you imagine my shock when I found Apple in the same set preening in front of the camera with a male Supermodel? The producers bluntly told me that “they have the model they need”, but I begged to at least have a few frames to convince them. One of the pokerfaced people there told me “we’re not doing a comedy shot, we’re sorry.”Comedy? Me? I’m dead serious about modelling, why can’t they see that? I left the set in a hurry when I saw Apple’s smug face looking in my direction. This week, I saw the billboards near the beach, and I was broken hearted. That should have been me in those photos!

I now live alone and am trying to still pursue my dream of being a model. But to pay the bills, I accept jobs that require me to pretend to be something I’m not.

In this photo, the director told me to “pretend you’re a gun”

Here, they asked me to “pretend you’re a telephone”

And, I even accepted a job that asked me to “pretend you don’t know what’s coming!”

I’m pathetic *wails*. I’m serious about modelling but all offers I get are trash. My agent suggested that I should probably try comedy, but I’m not so sure about that because I don’t think I’m funny. He mildly told me that maybe people will take me more seriously if I didn’t take myself too seriously. Does that make sense at all? Do you think I’m funny, Shabby?

I would love to hear from you and I trust that you will give me the best advice! More power!

Yours truly,

BNN

P.S. Here’s a diva shot taken in a photo studio for giving away to useful contacts who could refer me to some producers. I hope you like it!

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