The experience of having a young boyfriend is a bittersweet mixture of delight and apprehension. Particularly when both parties are still testing the waters. In the case of my friend and his girl, the guy feels that the girl is not ready to commit yet. The girl also maintains the “I-don’t-want-to-hurt-you” distance by insisting that they remain friends for the moment.

The statement “I might hurt you” could mean a few things. For starters, the girl knows that she has hang ups that the guy might not understand. Secondly, she is afraid for herself. The guy is just starting his own urban adventure — college, graduation, finding work — while the girl knows she’s already over the initial excitement of going through those things. The guy might discover other diversions (read: other girls), and when this happens, the older gal realizes that it’s emotionally safer to be his friend than his GF.

In a conversation with an over-eager young man, I remember putting it succinctly in one statement…

This is not the time for you to have someone who tends to be jealous of the new experiences that you’re going through. This is the time to be free, with no killjoy GF to destroy your fun. You need friends who will be going through the same thing.

Of course, I felt a certain sadness as I was saying it. Particularly since I really liked him and wanted to prolong the “trip” a litle longer. But I had to do it, for his sake… and mine. Yes, I would only be hurting him if I didn’t cut that involvement short. And might even open myself up to more complications than I can handle.

However, for those girls who are brave enough to take the risk, good for you sisters!!! At the end of his exciting day, you will be there to listen to his spellbound account of all the new stuff he did. Marvel at how freshly he views life, and how wonderful a man he will be. Be infected by his idealism and encourage his refusal to accept the cynical as truth.

The rewards of a successful May-December affair are lasting. A relationship that proves that age really doesn’t matter in love.

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