Evil Woobie

Happy Mother’s Day!

For this day, I’m going to be posting about one of the most fruitful relationship examples I know; that of parents! After all, these relationships bore fruits that are already walking the world spreading havoc and good cheer to everyone they meet, building enterprises and making the world run.

Stories on how these parents met and “hooked up” could only be the work of an other-wordly being who knew what he was doing. We all know him as Cupid, the proverbial cherubim who gets overstressed with work during Valentines. Cupid Strike is what I call that irrational moment when a person decides that the other person is The One. Some “The One” stories I heard are so downright cheesy to me, but for some unknown reason, the couples who experienced them find them so romantic.

Here’s an example of a Cupid Strike:

“This co-worker left a childhood photo face down on my desk. At the back was a note saying ‘this cute baby could be yours someday’ and his signature. I turned the photo over and right there staring at me was the cutest little blue-eyed boy in the world. I met him for lunch and said yes.”

My Cupid Theory

The moment I read about Spirit Guides (a.k.a. guardian angels), I was firmly convinced that the ol’ Cupid is a spirit guide. Whose spirit guide is he/she? The woman’s or the man’s? Neither.

Cupid is the couple’s yet unborn child’s guardian angel, who prayed and pleaded for the couple to be brought together somehow so that his ward can be born. So many songs are sang about being in a world full of strangers and finally meeting the ‘one’ through one particular medium or another. How two fated people could meet in this big big world is still an enigma. My belief is that it’s because of the cunning of an angel called Cupid.

Read more…

How did your first date go? is the question of the moment when, after what for you is the best date of your life, your friends pester you with queries on the date details. You are basking in the afterglow, feeling high and being 100% sure that he feels the same. But does he really?

The first date is a clean slate. What you make him feel on your first date will matter more than what he has heard about you from other people (the common friends who set you up), or what you told him through another medium (SMS or chat).

The first date could be the start of something better. If disastrous, however, it could be a closure of the whole ‘meeting-you’ affair. How do you make sure you are still on his mind after the date? Here are five simple measures to consider:

1. Make him look at your eyes - This means covering up any asset that distracts him. Granted, a nice, tasteful cleavage view can do wonders, but for the purpose of making him look at your face directly, hide it for now. Of course, some guys are really discreet when looking, and you barely notice how they stare. Just reserve the plunging V-line for the third date. (see the reference to the number 3 again?)

2. Do not blab - There are girls who love listening to their own voice, and I certainly can relate to this. However, if we talk long and deeply about the topic (sometimes without pausing to breathe), our dates might just fall asleep on us. Make him talk and don’t hog the conversation. If your goal is to let him realize how extensive your knowledge is about a topic, tell your story in concise but salient sentences. Intersperse the “What do you think?” every now and then to make him feel like he’s a part of the discussion.

3. Restrain your urge to discuss the movie, during the movie. This is my pet peeve, so forgive me if I am too harsh about the topic of talking while the movie is being played. First dates usually mean movie time. There are guys (and girls) that love to talk and talk during the movie.

I dated a guy who loved to read all the captions on the screen, including the director name, movie title, and names of the members of the production crew. I stared at him in disbelief for the duration of the tirade, but when he reached the “all rights reserved” part, i decided to put my foot down by saying “I can read, honey.”

I did date him a second time, but for some reason I just couldn’t bring myself to watch a movie with that guy again.

4. Consider his food preferences

You want to eat sushi, but he doesn’t eat sushi. He wants some burgers, but you don’t want to go to to a burger place. Ask him politely if he reserved a table in a restaurant. If he did not, suggest a ‘neutral’ place where you can have your first meal together. It should be a restaurant that serves food that you both like.

5. Say thank you. Regardless if you just had coffee together, or walked in the park, it is still his time that you took up. Thank him graciously and reward him with a subtle hand squeeze or a kiss.

About first date kisses. I have been asked before on how deeply one should kiss after a first date, or if it is proper to kiss at all. Kissing during a first date is not taboo in my book. In fact, it expresses one’s appreciation of time well spent. My recommendation for a first date kiss is this: all-lips, no tongue and should last about 5 seconds.

Remember that if you do the first date right, you’ll send him home thinking “I can’t wait to go home so I can call her.”

First of all, I want to thank those who sent in several topic suggestions via my contact page. And, those who sent in direct questions or are looking for solutions to their love problems, I really appreciate the trust. Much love!

While I answered the other questions directly, here are a few I reserved for posting here. I sort of expected that most of the questions will be about zodiac personalities and dating. This is also the long-deferred sequel to my ‘you ask, i answer’ series (first, second and third).

Q & A time!

If I ignore a pisces male will he be hurt?

If he cares enough, yes. Though it may seem like he ignored you first. Pisces males and females love to send out smokescreens for protection of what they really feel. This is the sign that’s the most difficult to read, and they can easily fool dense people. They take things way too personally when at the receiving end of pranks, but they play the best pranks themselves.

Will a Capricorn and Aries relationship work?

I have only seen this a few times; one romantic relationship and another, purely friendship. Capricorn babies the Aries, but breeds resentment when the scolding nature of Capricorn surfaces after a few months of being together. The good side of this union is that, when both realize that one is the other’s source of strength, they become codependent. I know that the term has a negative connotation, but it’s the most apt. Aries is the attention-seeking baby, and Capricorn needs someone to baby.

My wife hates me. What should I do?

Contrary to popular belief, hate is a good thing in relationships. Hate means strong feelings, lashing out, taking things by the balls and seeking revenge. Hate also means still caring about how the other person will react to your actions, and that he can still turn it around. Do the opposite of what she hates about you, and stick to the change of behavior for as long as you can. If she really feels hate for you, you’ll probably know why already (i.e. “you don’t love me!”). Do your best not to let the ‘hate’ turn to apathy, because by then it will be too late.

and the winner….

Which girl zodiac does not require foreplay?

All women require foreplay, in whatever form: actual touching and kissing, flirting over the phone or online, or the sexual tension that builds when you both know you like each other but pretend otherwise. Foreplay is anything that gets a girl thinking of sleeping with you; it creates fantasies and promises better things to come. Considering these statements, a guy must at least make an effort for the girl to feel it for him.

There you have it, a peek at the Tao of Woobie. If you have thought-provoking questions that you want me to tackle here in my blog or in private mail correspondence, you know where you can send it.

I was minding my own business working at my PC when the boyfriend passed by. He was going out. I noticed that he’s wearing Davidoff aftershave, and complimented him, “Wow, you smell good.”

He was nonchalant and glanced only once in my direction, which made me roll my eyes. “You’re supposed to say ‘thank you’ when someone compliments your fragrance.”

With a straight face, he looked at me and said, “Hun, when someone says you smell good, and you know you do because you put on perfume, that’s merely stating a fact. Now, when someone says you smell good when you didn’t put on perfume, that’s when you say thanks.”

*blink*

I waved my goodbye wordlessly as he went out and run that scene again in my mind. Maybe that’s what got me into him in the first place. He can see things differently.

I’m in a sort-of blogger’s block right now. Meaning, I have a lot of topics in my mind but they’re still just swimming about not wanting to get caught in my figurative mind net. Dear readers, if you want me to talk about a particular topic about love, relationship and dating, now is the best time to request it. Kindly send me a note via my contact page. All suggestions will be considered.

Thanks!

Guy Friends. Those ultra-lovable, ultra-sexy men in our lives that are the epitome of our ideal. We know their game, they know ours. They are here when we need them, just like girl friends, but better in a way that they can coach us with first hand info on how their fellow guys think and act.

In a post I published last year, What About Lasting Friendships, I expressed my adamant warning to never play guy friends, ever. To quote:

These [guys] should all be off-limits in your hunting agenda. You will continue to associate with these people even after the game is over. Baptismals, weddings, funerals and simple business meetings or holiday events… he will always be there, looking at you (or pretending not to see you, depending on how it ended).

Listening to this song while reading the rest of this entry is recommended

How about if the love is real and playing the game isn’t even remotely in your mind? I’m going to take the guy-falls-for-girl example because I recently viewed Bobby’s post, which is frankly the first time I ever read a guy’s take on the friends to lovers situation. Guys take the hit harder than girls, it seems, and to me, it makes sense how girls can resent it when a guy friend falls hopelessly in love with her.

Boyfriends (the lover-types), for all their yumminess and cuddliness, can be the enemy at times. They mess up our minds, play with our emotions, take up hundreds of sleepless hours and oftentimes cause us to cry. Having one of them in our roster of loyal allies means we are stronger in morale, because somehow we have a valuable resource for inside info on men. We can confidently tell our guy friends our secrets, safely practice our moves on them without risking judgment… we are safe and we are loved, and we will never lose them because they will always be there.

See, guys, when you fall for the sweetest most lovable girl in the world and she happens to be your close friend, you might think you’re winning a prize…. but in her eyes, she’s losing a very valuable ally. You were designated in the friend-only category for a reason, and sometimes the reason is that she wants to keep you forever. Complicated?

Quite simple, really. Having a more-than-friends relationship means she might lose you, especially if it’s so painfully obvious that neither of you is ready to settle down. Suddenly, you have become the enemy. Being friends forever means never breaking up, never really losing touch. Love isn’t even an issue because she already loves you, just not in the way you want her to.

Prompted by the impending end of summer and because there are lots of beach functions in my hometown right now, the Evil Woobie decided to buy a new swimsuit. I decided to let go of my old ones because of the drab colors… and ugh… the style!

Ok, that isn’t entirely true XD. It seems that being a mom changed my body in such a way that the woobies are a little fuller and my old Speedo just can’t handle em anymore. Swimwear (plus size swimwear) shopping comprises three parts: first is internet surfing for the trendiest designs; second is going malling to look if the trendiest designs and sizes are available (usually not); and third is going back to the internet to browse for the best deals and actual purchase.

I want a little red, a little black, some yellow, strappy backside… hmm. Then I saw designs that I never considered before, and they immediately brought this question to mind: Do I go to the beach to swim, or to be seen?!? The answer is so obvious.

Swimdresses

Perfect for the voluptuous woman! I mean, really. They balloon out at the right places, cinch at the best places… so that the curves that a girl must be proud of are highlighted, and the other curves that she isn’t so proud of are concealed.

Tankinis

This beach getup is sexy in so many levels, even if it doesn’t show as much skin as regular swimwear. Can you guess why? Tankinis are reminiscent of what sassy girls wear when just relaxing at home (or surfing the net at midnight). The big difference is that you can swim with tankinis because they are made of the material used for functional swimwear.

The evil in me wants to be cute at the beach, just in case some of the old hometown BFs are still around.